Restoring my soul.

As adults and parents we tell our kids “never give up”, “keep trying” even though we know within ourselves there are times in life when giving up and letting go is the most beneficial thing to do for our mental health.

I started a Uni degree in Communications (Journalism and Creative Writing) when I turned 40.  This was my birthday present to myself, I worked hard, I prioritised it above everything else, to the point where I almost had no other life.  I was stupid, I was stressed out, I was at one point for a time completely unable to do anything. This was not healthy.

I began with the idea that I somehow needed a degree, I needed to prove something to everyone about the person I really was.  That I was more than “just a mother” or “just a wife”, that somehow I could be defined as a someone who “just worked in retail”.   I wanted more, there’s nothing wrong with that, not really.

The “wrong” came when I allowed it to cloud my judgement about how I used my time.  Which is where the kids come into it.  I have learned from this long experiment that sometimes knowing when to quit is the adult thing to do.

Quitting is not a bad thing, it is not an ignoble thing sometimes quitting is the brave thing, the humble thing; it is the thing to do when all persevering is detrimental to the health and wellbeing of not only you but everyone around you.

So now my lesson to the my kids is not “keep trying” it is “Is this thing causing you harm?”  If the answer is a real yes than I am OK with them quitting.  If it’s a “I’m not sure” then we keep going for  little while and reassess.

That is what being an adult in this world really means. Reassessing and adjusting with the change.