Restoring my soul.

There is a strange smell around junior organised sport and it is none too promising.  Outside the normal competitiveness one would expect to see in a sport competition, there is an undercurrent of animosity and dread.  This shows its ugly head among spectators and parents and insidiously spreads to coaches and down to the children who are playing a sport they love and want to have fun at.

Australia has a long held tear em down policy, we call it “tall poppy syndrome”, or “keeping it real”.  Although all it achieves is to set player against player and friend against friend.  It causes rifts in teams and it courses through the veins of spectators causing outbursts of violence and anger on the sidelines of children’s games country wide.

Coaches are struggling with keeping teams together as the jealousy and competitiveness of parents filters to their children.  Comments like “you are a better player than that kid” or “what’s the coach thinking he/she should give you more time” or “that kid is a crap player, what are they even on the team for?”  The kids take this onto the field or court with them and infighting happens causing a fissure among team mates.

What can we do about it?  How do we put a stop to it?  A change in culture needs to happen and it has to start with Coaches.  Coaches capable of confronting parents who are known to be causing distrust and anger, coaches willing to have difficult conversations and put censures on those offenders not willing to play by the rules.  Coaches willing to set a rule of conduct for their team in addition to the one set out by the Club or Association.  Coaches willing to teach team unity instead of just the rules of the game and positioning and strategy.

Standing alongside the Coaches should be firm Team Managers willing to also have tough conversations and call out unacceptable behaviours when they see them happen.  Thirdly parents need to support both Coaches and Team Managers by applying the rules to their own children and to themselves and call into check any negative talk or behaviour before it gets out of control and becomes physical.

Associations have to actually follow through with their own by-laws and apply the punishments that they set in writing.  There are reasons for them not applying the rules and most of them are sadly membership and fees based.  The fear of losing players and therefore income stops most Associations and Clubs from pursuing disciplinary action against those people that flout the rules of conduct.  Associations talk the talk but most are afraid to fully follow through on the punishment especially in the case of expulsion as a possible outcome.

There is no room in junior sport for hatred, backstabbing, bitching and nasty language. Junior sport is about teaching team work and cohesion and getting along with others, even those different to them with different hobbies.  It is a training ground not only for sport but also for personal development.  Team sport is responsible for teaching kids about fairness and right thinking.  It develops inner strength and self confidence in children.

Adults/parents need to stop ruining the fun of the sport by teaching kids to be violent and nasty by their very example on the sideline.  If you are a sporting parent and you have trouble containing your frustrations at a game perhaps you should look at your behaviour and how it effects your children and their team mates and then lead by example and show the kids that it is possible to learn and change our minds at any age.