Restoring my soul.

Hi all,

In the interest of transparency, i wanted to post this.  I am having a “beat myself up” kind of day.  Things/plans aren’t quite going the way I wanted and I am nowhere near my goal as to getting my business started (or a new job).  Life keeps getting in the way, kids, husband, friends, family everyone’s needs get sorted out before my own do.

My difficulty is in prioritising myself over others, over whether I drive a teen to their friends place instead of studying to finish my Degree. Or do I spend “quality” time with hubby instead of setting up a website for my business?

Life is hard, I have doubts about my abilities to handle new challenges, I keep falling into old habits (less and less, but it still happens).  I am working on myself and doing a lot of self assessment and forgiveness of myself and others.  Forgive myself for not having that business I always said I would have “one day”, forgive others for the blame I put on them for “making me” put them first all of the time.

I have read tons of books on Abundance and wealth creation and self actualisation, NLP, etc, I’ve called on Angels and prayed to the God’s, danced under the full moon and recharged my crystals and my Chakra’s.  I still feel the same, my circumstances are the same and nothing has changed.

All of the decisions that I need to make to get to the point of success are wrapped up in other people’s needs and wants.  The money for my website has to go toward sport for the kids or school fees.  There are so many things that take priority over my business building adventures that I feel like just giving up.

I am putting to the Angels – celestial and here on Earth, again to get the Universe working in my favour and bring me a couple of clients who are willing to work with a real human, who can understand their troubles and their needs because I have lived them too. Three paying clients per week, not much to ask of the universe really.

Namaste