I have been struggling with what to write about in this post and it suddenly hit me this morning, after answering five phone calls and several emails, making appointments and working on an assignment, that the one topic I am an actual expert in is being busy.
Being a mum of three engaged teenagers one would expect to be “busy”, driving here there and everywhere, helping with homework, finding tutors (still looking), going to sporting events etc. Add on a husband who likes to spend to time with me (when I’m free) and all of my own stuff, there is hardly time to rest or take time out on my own.
Yet and still I must, the need to feel busy, to be seen as being busy and not lazy in today’s world is a badge of honour. The whole question of “what do you do?” is a precursor for judgement or an opening to a debate about who is busier than the other. As women, as nurturers we are prone to serving others at our own expense, to the point of burnout. I have been at burnout and like an old flame I like to revisit it occasionally, because I have forgotten how much it burns. I remember the praise, the good feeling of helping everyone, how important I feel and this blinds me to the cost of giving.
Are you a giver? My guess is if you are a woman reading this than the answer is yes. Before the man reading this walks away – yes men give too, they just give differently. I am talking to you, who is at the end of their rope, have no idea of how you are going to get through just one more minute let alone day. The mum with the crying baby, the needy toddler, the demanding teenager, the wanting partner, the calling parent, the school committee, the church committee, the friends that need advice NOW. You may be all of these or just some of these guaranteed you will experience it all at some point in your life. You will read articles that say “strike a balance”, “balance your day”, “use me time to counter busy”, what if there is no balancing, just juggling? Where do you really find the time for you?
Let’s get practical for a moment, not everyone has time for an hour long soak in the tub reading Ekhart Tolle and indulging in deep transitional meditation. Everyone does get from 30 seconds to 5 minutes alone at least 4 times a day – in the loo. (if you are the mum with the needy toddler LOCK THE DOOR) Sit do your business and close your eyes, that’s it, closing our eyes for 30 seconds can be enough to reset our brains. Try it at the kitchen sink, hands deep in dish water, lock yourself in the pantry or the walk in robe. Kids sleep eventually, husbands/partners leave the house, don’t use this time to clean more or make phone calls – use it to breathe, to reconnect, get bare foot and go outside on the lawn, even if it’s overgrown.
There is always time to breathe deeply and always time to stand in the grass. It is important to do these things even briefly, to reset our minds, our souls and reconnect with the Earth, the source of all energy.
Restoring my soul. 