Restoring my soul.

This blog is called “nothing but the truth” in which I often share my sole opinion on certain topics.  There have been many comments made in this place regarding youth sport.

As a mum of very sporty kids, and married to an ex-sportsman – I have assumed the role of main support person, physio, taxi-driver, sport psychologist, mediator, caterer, chief calmer, Coach, Assistant Coach, Team Manager, Committee member, statistician and sport writer.

After almost 12 years of living and breathing these roles I feel I am qualified to comment further on what I perceive to be the problem in youth sport… Parents! Moreso their ego’s, they always know better than the coaches; they know better than the referee’s; their kid is the next NBA draft pick even though they are only 8 years old; they know that their kid should never be off the court as they are the “star”. Woe betide the coach who subs their kid off for a rest break or to give another kid a turn on court/field.  To these parents I say “pull your head in”, your kids is a KID, as proven by my own talented swimmer at age 12, other kids catch up and pass them, the kid gets bored and changes sport.  Check the reason YOUR KID plays sport.  Is it for your ego or for their fun?

Clubs complain they can’t get or keep coaches of quality, they worry that they won’t have enough volunteers each season to maintain a competition.  All because the parent’s that never volunteer to help, never attend meetings, some who never attend games even (because their kid is driven by another parent “as a favour”) some of which and I will say the majority, have very loudly voiced opinion’s on how those who DO volunteer should perform the task at hand.

Arrogance and ego are at the core of this issue, eventually the people in the roles of coach in particular get sick of being abused by parents each week, they get sick of kids not listening to them who think they know better than the coach (because they learned this behaviour from their parents) and eventually they throw in the towel.  Remember they are volunteers, they give up their time and are away from their families just so your kid can play a sport.  Without them there would be no team or clubs or sport.  Show some respect and teach your kid to respect them.

The way in which some clubs handle these issues is to show little to no support to the Coach but placate the loud parent because they pay fees and clubs need as many fee paying parents they can get.  That in a nutshell is the base truth, money drives decision making.

In all of my 12 years I have only experienced ONE sporting club who has supported the Coaches over a complaining parent and gave the parent the choice of staying and accepting the Coaches authority or leaving for another club where they will find that behaviour acceptable and commendable.

A note to those clubs who are complaining they can’t keep good coaches: perhaps make the rules and code of conduct clear to parents on signing, that the club will hear all complaints openly, however a coach will be fully supported as they are the cornerstone to any sporting club being successful.  Have the players sign or acknowledge that they understand the “Players Code of Conduct” and the consequences for poor behaviour.  If your club doesn’t have one, create one.

A note to the loudly opinionated side line parent: You want a say in how your kids sporting team is run or you don’t like the way the Coach, coaches – sign on and volunteer, put your money where your mouth is and dig in.  Find out just how difficult it is to maintain a group of wild kids or mixed ability kids, or even a group of loudly opinionated sideline parents BEFORE you feel qualified to even utter a negative retort.

Are you a sporting parent? Ask yourself this question – If you were in your workplace and a person hurled abuse at you or threatened your health and wellbeing daily, what would you do?  You would say it doesn’t happen wouldn’t you, you would have protection from OH&S laws etc.  Well when you are hurling abuse at a (quite often young) Referee/Umpire at your kids sport game on the weekend, remember they are in their workplace and they have the same rights to be safe there as you do at yours.

Cheer your kid on, make a joyous noise when their team scores, share in the dissapointment when they lose (they will lose) understand even if you don’t agree with the standard of adjudication understand they are doing the job the best way they can.

STOP THE ABUSE.  ACT RESPECTFULLY and TEACH YOUR KID TO RESPECT> Check your EGO at the door and enjoy your kid’s game.