Restoring my soul.

I have been spending a lot of time alone these days, my husband travelling interstate for work, has him away more often than he is at home. The bonus of this time alone means much time to catch up on learning, and writing. Also establish a habit of meditation and prayer.

Alone time can be scary and confronting until you get used to it. For some people being alone with yourself can cause anxiety – it should come with the warning “being alone can cause moments of deep self reflection”. What we uncover about ourselves in these moments can be eye-opening, it is also an opportunity to identify habits or behaviours that may be self destructive and allow for an implementation of change.

For example, I have a tendency to “forget” things that are not visible, literally in my face. So while my husband is away, all of my “projects”, books, journals etc are sitting on the dining room table, where I see them everyday. It’s why all of my tasks are written on a board on the fridge and I set 3 alarms for every calendar event in my phone. This cognitive dissonance has certainly gotten worse during menopause. Things simply cease to exist if they are not visible. I wonder if I am alone in this experience?

Being alone also fosters a tendency to self isolate and become a hermit homebody. Which is not necessarily a good thing as we know a healthy social life is good for our mental health. Being at home alone, can cause one to talk to themselves and reply, which when repeated in public has people looking at you a bit funny. It also makes it easier to neglect yourself, by getting comfortable on your cozy chair and not exercising. I need a gentle push to get out and about to move outside and stretch my body.

Napping has also become a daily habit, and if I miss a nap my body protests greatly in the form of uncontrollable yawning. I defend this habit by telling myself I must need the extra sleep as I no longer sleep straight through the night. Surely this is a valid point of view and relevant defense?

Even though I enjoy the freedom of being alone in my home, I have discovered I also need another breather in the house to feel fully comfortable. So I will continue to keep busy while I wait for my husband to return from his latest travels and allow him room in my space for however long he is home this round.